Xan Coppinger
Artist in Residence – 2024
babyxxan (Xan Coppinger) is a trans autistic electronic artist, radio presenter and podcast-producer based in Naarm. Focusing on music as a means for storytelling, babyxxan has a steadily growing discography that can’t be reduced down to a singular style or genre. Whether it is the long-form ambient meditation lost tapes from the lilac island in space (Best Effort, 2022), through to the vibrantly spacious, glitchy tech rekease In-Tran-Situ (Public Possession, 2024), Xan’s productions are often undulating and dynamic, compelling the audience to listen in without necessarily slowing down.
How did you first get involved with synths and electronic sound?
I grew up playing classical piano, and since the age of 6 have been obsessed with any texture of key. However, years of spouting Chopin and Beethoven led me to understand musicality through eisteddfods, exams, and the submissive replication of the patriarchal canon. There was no such thing as ‘self-expression’ in this musicality for me — it was obeying structures of authority and seeking only to validate the unshakeable truth of the cis-het-white maestros who wrote the sheet-music I had to memorise. I loved the sound of the piano, and I absolutely hated the oppressive systems surrounding it. I loved the weight of the keys, the reverb, the resonance, the strange patterns I could make, the muddled-wash of noise the foot-pedals could produce, the way the piano would almost become a drone instrument if I danced my fingertips right. All the things that were not written into my A.M.E.B exam book.
Eventually I stopped wanting to play piano all-together – the exams were horrible, the competitions were stressful, the pieces I had to learn were insufferable, and the teachers seemed to be more intent on disciplining me than inspiring me.
I spent a lot of time in hospital growing up, and there was this one particular song that carried me. Phoenix’s Lisztomania – a reference to Franz Liszt, no less! It was a song of both desperation, optimism, terror, and euphoria. The piano acted more like a sequencer than of classical orchestration. As much as I tried to escape it, the power of simple sequences and arpeggiation had come back to find me in a different pair of pants.
Years later I still wasn’t able to return to playing music, but I started hosting a left-field electronic dance music show (Solaris) on PBS with my friend Clancy. This was a multi-year adventure in discovering all the musicians I was never taught about in school when I was having my fingers stretched on a piano. Through these many pioneers (thank you Frankie Knuckles, Pauline Oliveros, Leon Vynehall ect) the idea that I could not only just replicate other people’s music but even create my own was becoming less of a ludicrous idea and more of a necessity. After years of happily losing myself in Ableton much like I used to lose myself playing Sims 3 or writing short stories, the ability to create alternate universes was re-kindled. Same fire, different piece of wood. So to summarise, I stopped mucking around and bought an Arturia Keylab 61 from some bloke on Gumtree in 2019 – so I could start really mucking around in the way I was born to, on the synthesiser.
How would you describe the sounds you make today?
Where do you find inspiration, what motivates you?
I find inspiration everywhere! It’s in the sound of the pedestrian crossings, it’s in the whirring of a bike wheel, the crunching of leaves, the giggle of a friend, the warble of a magpie, the tonality of someone’s speech, the rhythm of footsteps side-by-side.
There’s sound and poetry to be found in all of the every-day moments. While there may also be an overwhelming amount of emotions and thoughts constantly lying in my brain, I feel blessed to feel genuine and pretty constant inspiration over the past few years for how to transmit these through sound. It’s less that I’m ‘motivated’ than I am constantly compelled to make music, and there is never enough time I can set aside in the day for it between all of the other noise. The itch can never be truly satisfied.
What’s been one of the most rewarding or satisfying moments of your journey so far?
Each work is like creating a new universe. I begin to understand the lore of the ecosystem, I begin to map the terrain, and I develop basic infrastructure in this fictional paradise in my head. I learn how far I can warp or alter things, I learn what happens when I break the rules, and I ultimately learn how to make this sonic ecosystem my home. I end up spending enormous amounts of time in this space in my head.
I learn what this space is for me, and I learn how it protects and cares for me. The most rewarding part is finally becoming ready to start inviting other people into that space, and being able to share the most intimate internal landscapes with others.
The other most rewarding thing has been really flipping off the toxic and oppressive approach I had been taught to performance. The last times I can remember performing solo was a Mordialloc Piano Eisteddfod or an A.M.E.B exam. Built into these structures were clear ideas of numerical success and failure, literally written into the score you would be given. To have a chance to re-define my approach to performance and self-expression has been significant and kind of mind-boggling. To perform something that will not be graded or ranked in a hierarchy is a huge unlearning and relief for me, and to re-define and subvert all those messages I had learnt about musicality and performance has been hugely inspiring. The expanse of what I feel capable to share and create becomes infinitely wider and richer with those constraints knocked down.
And the most challenging?
Having never performed lived on electronic instruments before, the technical side of things was a pretty big challenge! While I love making music in the safe nest of my bedroom, chopping and playing with sounds, this is very different to creating an arrangement that I can deliver as one person, in one go. Figuring out how many sonic arms and legs I could grow and operate as one person was a fun challenge.
Developing the confidence to sing again was also a big challenge! There’s something so darn vulnerable about the voice delivering a message as opposed to a synthesiser delivering a message.
Do you have a current ‘go to’ set up at MESS? Any favourite machines or combos that you’re currently digging?
My ride or die is the Dave Smith Pro 2. Pretty sure I’ve used that synth every time I’ve come to MESS since 2018. 5 years and we are still very happy together.
Are there any machines in the MESS collection you’ve had your eye on but haven’t tried yet?
If you could give yourself one piece of advice when you first started what would it be?
babyxxan performs at MESS Residents Reveal
Date: Thursday, Aug 7, 2024
Time: Doors at 7pm
Venue: Miscellania
